


one more step towards me

by womaninthewindow



Category: Slender Man Mythos, Stan Frederick
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Pre-Canon, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29308767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/womaninthewindow/pseuds/womaninthewindow
Summary: stan doesn't tell susan he loves her
Relationships: Stan Frederick/Susan Frederick
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	one more step towards me

Stan had known Susan for six months when he realized he’s falling in love with her. 

They sat crammed in the back of the orphanage, dropped from their latest foster home for being “difficult to handle” with their temporary parents claiming they were “unprepared to take on the responsibility”. It’s one of the nicer way any of their homes have kicked them out. He prefers the ones that don’t sugarcoat their reasons-- _these kids are delusional, they keep us up screaming about things in the trees!_ It’s exhausting to pack everything up and get thrown back into the adoption cycle. 

At least he wasn’t alone this time. 

He met Susan and Connor in December-- a strange moment of seeing the same sleepless, haunted look reflected in their eyes and _knowing_ they _know_. They huddled together like they’re hiding from the bitter cold, the only other source of warmth for miles. It took him a long time to get adjusted to Connor’s abrasive personality. He _still_ struggles with it. It’s not like that with Susan. He’s almost weary that it shouldn’t be this easy. It takes a few weeks, tops, for the two of them to fall into sync. Susan is smart, she’s coolheaded, and she’s pretty funny too.

He’s never had serious feelings for anyone before he met Susan. 

There, in the first week of June, having shoved the remnants of his dead life into a suitcase to leave, again, he realized it. The miserable heatwave pouring in from the windows hadn’t improved his mood in the slightest, nor did knowing the flat mattress the two of them laid out across was going to be his from now on. He felt okay despite it all. All the bitter thoughts in his head were blocked out when he watched Susan’s slow breathing next to him. The rise and fall of her chest, and the hum from the back of her throat were the only things that mattered in that moment.

It takes another month for him to realize the smile she flashes at him when they’re alone means it’s not as unrequited as he thought. 

It's hard for Stan to get Susan by herself most of the time. Connor is a constant, overbearing presence in both of their lives. Stan teeters back and forth on calling it reasonably overprotective and _completely fucking suffocating_. Susan never says as much, but seems to fall more onto the latter option. Their time alone is counted in minutes. Connor leaving the room to do whatever he does is a blessed window of opportunity. 

Double checking he's not coming back soon, Susan slides up next to him on the couch. She rests her head against his shoulder and Stan represses a nervous giggle. He can’t help it, every touch between them makes his heart flip. She laces their fingers together, and Stan might collapse. She tilts her head upward to face him. 

“Have you always been this sweet?” She pokes at him. Stan drops his head down, hoping to hide his growing blush. It’s hard to ignore how close they are. Her hair tickles his cheek when she breathes. A nervous static in the back of his mind prevents him from fully enjoying the moment. He's always aware that something is out there, feeling non-existent eyes creeping his every move. If he turned around now, he could catch a glimpse of it, waiting for him. The warmth of Susan's arm pressed against his is a nice distraction. 

_I love you._ The words burn in his mouth. He does, he loves her so much. Ever since he lost Erik, Stan struggled to find a reason to fight it, to run away when the monster reached its hands towards him. She became that reason. She became a future he wanted to have. He wants to tell her how he feels, but Stan is a coward, just like Connor says. What if it’s too much? What he scares her off? He needs her, needs her so _badly_ it terrifies him. 

Susan shifts against him, making Stan conscious of how fidgety he’s getting. He forces himself to relax, forget everything else. She smiles. It’s the only light in the world. If they ever get out of this, he swears, he’s gonna marry her. 

A bang from the other room makes Stan jump out of his skin. Connor spits out something ugly from behind the door. Stan assures himself it’s only him, and tries to stop the shaking before it becomes noticeable. Susan’s mouth has flattened into a clear annoyance. She sighs and scoots away. Stan fails to not be a little disappointed. 

“Guess I’ll go check on him.” She offers a sorry look. Susan kisses the back of his hand before standing up. Her hair twirls behind her when she leaves the room. Stan squeezes his fists at his side.

_I love you. I love you._

Maine is different. 

Stan has lived in New York his whole life. It’s not very far, but it feels like a whole different universe. They traveled around when they were on the run but this is settling down, this is permanent. He spent the first few days ogling the fixtures around the house, hammering it that this is real, and it belongs to them. It’s not a large house. Their kitchen is barely bigger than the one at his old apartment. The house is perfect for two.

Maybe three, some day.

“Good morning.” 

Susan is already awake, sitting at their table. 

"Morning." She grins at him over her cup of coffee, enough that her dimples peak over the top. It's cute. Everything about her is so cute. Stan knows it’s well past morning at this point. He’s been oversleeping a lot lately, just because he can. Years worth of stress has suddenly been removed from his life. Take in a full breath, to remember what air feels like. Stan opens up their cupboard ( _ **their** cupboard_, his mind emphasizes with glee) and reaches for the coffee. 

He knows how much there still is to do. They’re blowing through the last of Stan’s inheritance, so they’ll have to get jobs fast. Graduating from high school early looks nice on a resume but not when Stan doesn’t have anything else to show for it. He wants to help the people he contacted before. There’s so many out there going through what he did. He has the power to help them when no one else can. This isn’t something he wants to do, it’s something he has to do. The weight presses down on his shoulders. He hasn’t told Susan his full idea yet, and even if he knows she would support him no matter what, he couldn’t ask her to take on that much work. Guilt starts to crawl into the back of his head. 

“You can tell me what you’re thinking about, you know.”

He winces, now aware he’s been staring off into an empty mug all this time. “That obvious?”

“Yup.” Her tone is teasing, but he knows her intent is sincere. 

_I love you. I’m sorry. You deserved a better life than this. Will you marry me?_

He rubs his thumb against his knuckle. “I want to start calling myself Evan again.”

**Author's Note:**

> i am really not a writer in any capacity i just want sf to get tag indexed
> 
> i know stan should be calling himself evan in the first half but i don't want to swtich between names if i don't have to


End file.
